I have stopped blogging these days. It could be because there aren't enough funny, witty, interesting, adventurous events to share, or it could be sheer laziness. Whatever be the reason, i would have never wished to get back to my blog under this circumstance.
It was another usual day back from work, a tad early at about 530pm and I picked up Bhargav from mom's place and decided to head straight to AT nagar house. Earlier in the day Bhargav's pigeons's eggs had hatched and he was on cloud 9 continuously monitoring the chicks.
It has been nagging me for a while whether i should continue working, or find some alternate career which gives more satisfaction of having done something more meaningful for my family and the society. I have been a cold hearted mom since bhargav was born and chose to put everything ahead of him as priority. I dont know what gave me the confidence that he will grow up naturally, carelessly carefully, and God will take care of him in the form of parents support etc etc.And under this excuse I continued to pay heed to duty calls restricting time spent with him to the regular chores of brushing, dressing up for school and putting him to bed - even these i had to let go on days i traveled on work. It had occurred to me several times in the past that till i put a full stop or be made to forcefully, i would let myself ride with the flow. It has also occurred to me that by the time i realise i hadnt spend enough time, he'd probably be too old to want to spend time with me. I selfishly blamed the generation, trends of working parents in urban cities and took solace in the fact that i was not the only mother in this boat. I have also prayed to God once or twice to not put me in such a situation that i ever regret my choices in the past... and since nothing of that sort happened, i was wishfully thinking God had answered my prayers and wanted me to continue the way i am.
Coming back to 530 pm, I was on my way home when i thought i'd brainstorm some business ideas with Niru since both of us have been dwelling over this thought for a long time that we could do something on our own to get us that 20-30k per month while also not having to compromise on personal priorities. We were never greedy of what we wanted. This thought was very strong this whole week and I was keen to brainstorm with niru and decided to call her to check if she was free in the evening. When i was almost a turn away from my house, the previous turn was her house and decided to drop by for a quick hi. I had strict instructions from mom to get home straight and feed him as he hadnt had lunch. As i had mentioned, i had always put his priorities in the backseat and decided to continue with my 'hi' plans, more so because bhargav loved dittu's company. While (like the n million times i had done it in the past) I was honking outside her gate, there was a cheerful dittu and niru walking to the car and happily opening the door. It didnt occur to me that Bhargav had also sneaked out of the car. My 200% trust on God, fate, overconfidence never let me check if he was safely getting into the house or still on the road. I continued to pick Giri's call on the mobile, and happily chatted away to glory when i heard a sudden screech of brakes, almost like the bursting of a transformer. I had no clue what had happened, and i looked out of the car when i saw an ambassador halt awkwardly with Niru in shock, Dittu crying and onlookers shouting.. it had still not occured to me to check where Bhargav was and i looked at Niru's face when she pointed at the kid lying on the road almost under the car..with his face down and motionless. I would never want to recollect those moments after i finish penning down this blog. But thank God for the strength he gave me during those moments that i quickly ran to him and checked if he was "intact". And to my relief he was crying.. I turned him over and saw his other side of face soaked in red. But he was still crying, which meant he was in his senses.. which meant the car didnt run over him...... I picked him up in my arms and ran in the road and sat in the ambassador and it again occured to me that i had my car and Niru could drive. So i jumped out of the ambassador and yelled at Niru to drive me to a hospital. While i held him close to me, continuously talking to him, cajoling him and checking if he was conscious, Niru drove like a maniac, honking her way through Arcot road to reach Rakshit Hospital. I rushed him to the emergency and the pediatrician was there who comforted saying the kid wouldnt be crying if it was anything major. In the next two hours that followed, several tests were taken, CT scans, X rays, internal scans, and when one by one turned favorable, I felt like that was the best blessing i had ever received in my life. I consciously chose not to alarm Giri who had to bike 20kms from work, or either of the parents. Bhargav continued to cry in pain, but for the first time i kept feeling more and more reassured as he cried more and more. Finally he was sedated and we waited for senior surgeon to patch up the wounds. To all our surprise, the little baby was conscious and almost walked out of the theater by himself and came and told me that he'd never again run away in the road, and immediately slipped into drowsiness.
While it is not true to absurdly connect working moms and such incidents, what dawned on me was my lethargic attitude when it came to devoting dedicated time for him apart from work. It didnt have to dawn on me in this fashion, or probably God intended it to be this way, for me to get the point. He probably tried several ways that i didnt even realise, and they all failed. How much i wanted him back that moment when i saw him still on the road, I cant convey in words. It was not just a lesson to realise the worth of a child.. it was also a lesson where the car could have been mine and kid, someone else's for the amount of phone distractions i entertain while driving. Nothing in this world can be taken for granted. Fate will not always be favorable. It will only be till you get the point and realise the mistake or vow not to repeat. If we choose to happily ignore it on the grounds of luck or fate, God will have to resort to dirty nasty ways to put the point across.
The driver of the ambassador had looked for us in all the major hospitals in and around the area and finally located us. He was in a state of shock and apologised for no mistake of his. Imagine the guilt i would have loaded him with for the rest of his life, if it were not the way it turned out.
I hope i dont end up becoming a scared and paranoid mother for the rest of my life and let Bhargav life his life. But am sure it will take me many days or months to get over the sight of him lying flat on the ground.. those few seconds till i turned to see him alive.. those few seconds till i realised he was not run over.. those few seconds till eternity.
I am eternally thankful to God, my parents, my family and friends for all their deeds, wishes and mercy. I hope the next blog of mine is a happy and cheerful one.
It was another usual day back from work, a tad early at about 530pm and I picked up Bhargav from mom's place and decided to head straight to AT nagar house. Earlier in the day Bhargav's pigeons's eggs had hatched and he was on cloud 9 continuously monitoring the chicks.
It has been nagging me for a while whether i should continue working, or find some alternate career which gives more satisfaction of having done something more meaningful for my family and the society. I have been a cold hearted mom since bhargav was born and chose to put everything ahead of him as priority. I dont know what gave me the confidence that he will grow up naturally, carelessly carefully, and God will take care of him in the form of parents support etc etc.And under this excuse I continued to pay heed to duty calls restricting time spent with him to the regular chores of brushing, dressing up for school and putting him to bed - even these i had to let go on days i traveled on work. It had occurred to me several times in the past that till i put a full stop or be made to forcefully, i would let myself ride with the flow. It has also occurred to me that by the time i realise i hadnt spend enough time, he'd probably be too old to want to spend time with me. I selfishly blamed the generation, trends of working parents in urban cities and took solace in the fact that i was not the only mother in this boat. I have also prayed to God once or twice to not put me in such a situation that i ever regret my choices in the past... and since nothing of that sort happened, i was wishfully thinking God had answered my prayers and wanted me to continue the way i am.
Coming back to 530 pm, I was on my way home when i thought i'd brainstorm some business ideas with Niru since both of us have been dwelling over this thought for a long time that we could do something on our own to get us that 20-30k per month while also not having to compromise on personal priorities. We were never greedy of what we wanted. This thought was very strong this whole week and I was keen to brainstorm with niru and decided to call her to check if she was free in the evening. When i was almost a turn away from my house, the previous turn was her house and decided to drop by for a quick hi. I had strict instructions from mom to get home straight and feed him as he hadnt had lunch. As i had mentioned, i had always put his priorities in the backseat and decided to continue with my 'hi' plans, more so because bhargav loved dittu's company. While (like the n million times i had done it in the past) I was honking outside her gate, there was a cheerful dittu and niru walking to the car and happily opening the door. It didnt occur to me that Bhargav had also sneaked out of the car. My 200% trust on God, fate, overconfidence never let me check if he was safely getting into the house or still on the road. I continued to pick Giri's call on the mobile, and happily chatted away to glory when i heard a sudden screech of brakes, almost like the bursting of a transformer. I had no clue what had happened, and i looked out of the car when i saw an ambassador halt awkwardly with Niru in shock, Dittu crying and onlookers shouting.. it had still not occured to me to check where Bhargav was and i looked at Niru's face when she pointed at the kid lying on the road almost under the car..with his face down and motionless. I would never want to recollect those moments after i finish penning down this blog. But thank God for the strength he gave me during those moments that i quickly ran to him and checked if he was "intact". And to my relief he was crying.. I turned him over and saw his other side of face soaked in red. But he was still crying, which meant he was in his senses.. which meant the car didnt run over him...... I picked him up in my arms and ran in the road and sat in the ambassador and it again occured to me that i had my car and Niru could drive. So i jumped out of the ambassador and yelled at Niru to drive me to a hospital. While i held him close to me, continuously talking to him, cajoling him and checking if he was conscious, Niru drove like a maniac, honking her way through Arcot road to reach Rakshit Hospital. I rushed him to the emergency and the pediatrician was there who comforted saying the kid wouldnt be crying if it was anything major. In the next two hours that followed, several tests were taken, CT scans, X rays, internal scans, and when one by one turned favorable, I felt like that was the best blessing i had ever received in my life. I consciously chose not to alarm Giri who had to bike 20kms from work, or either of the parents. Bhargav continued to cry in pain, but for the first time i kept feeling more and more reassured as he cried more and more. Finally he was sedated and we waited for senior surgeon to patch up the wounds. To all our surprise, the little baby was conscious and almost walked out of the theater by himself and came and told me that he'd never again run away in the road, and immediately slipped into drowsiness.
While it is not true to absurdly connect working moms and such incidents, what dawned on me was my lethargic attitude when it came to devoting dedicated time for him apart from work. It didnt have to dawn on me in this fashion, or probably God intended it to be this way, for me to get the point. He probably tried several ways that i didnt even realise, and they all failed. How much i wanted him back that moment when i saw him still on the road, I cant convey in words. It was not just a lesson to realise the worth of a child.. it was also a lesson where the car could have been mine and kid, someone else's for the amount of phone distractions i entertain while driving. Nothing in this world can be taken for granted. Fate will not always be favorable. It will only be till you get the point and realise the mistake or vow not to repeat. If we choose to happily ignore it on the grounds of luck or fate, God will have to resort to dirty nasty ways to put the point across.
The driver of the ambassador had looked for us in all the major hospitals in and around the area and finally located us. He was in a state of shock and apologised for no mistake of his. Imagine the guilt i would have loaded him with for the rest of his life, if it were not the way it turned out.
I hope i dont end up becoming a scared and paranoid mother for the rest of my life and let Bhargav life his life. But am sure it will take me many days or months to get over the sight of him lying flat on the ground.. those few seconds till i turned to see him alive.. those few seconds till i realised he was not run over.. those few seconds till eternity.
I am eternally thankful to God, my parents, my family and friends for all their deeds, wishes and mercy. I hope the next blog of mine is a happy and cheerful one.
